01. How Nervous System Safety Unlocks Real Healing

Your body has been trying to keep you safe and that can look like anxiety, overthinking, tension, shutdown, or nonstop “go mode.” 

We take a grounded look at somatic healing and nervous system education, starting with a simple practice you can feel immediately: slowing down, breathing, and noticing what your body actually needs right now. 

We walk through the nervous system like an electrical network that runs through your whole being, then zoom in on the autonomic nervous system and its two powerful branches. 

You’ll learn why the sympathetic “gas pedal” fuels fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and how the parasympathetic “brake pedal” supports rest and digest, restoration, and real repair. 

We also talk about what it looks like when your system gets stuck in chronic stress from trauma or everyday life and why burnout, sleep problems, digestive issues, pain, and emotional chaos can be signs of protection, not failure.

Somatic work is not about forcing calm. Sometimes healing is a primal release; sometimes it’s stillness and breath while your body processes what you cannot put into words. 

If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more women can find body-led healing.

Serenity Within: https://remothering-mamas.newzenler.com/courses/serenity

You can learn more about my work here: https://remotheringmamas.com/

Let's connect on IG: https://www.instagram.com/remotheringmamas

Transcript

Welcome And Body-Led Focus

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to the podcast. Today we're going to talk about the foundation of my work, which is working with the body, working with the nervous system, and somatic healing. Somatic just means separate from the mind, even though the mind is part of the body, but in the mental health field, in the healing field, a lot of what we see is focused around the mind, mindset work, mindfulness. And while all of that is incredible, I found my healing really didn't take place, healing from my childhood, from complex trauma, from general anxiety disorder, until I learned to work with my body. And that's what soma is. It's the body. And a lot of the reason that I say I'm a body-led prosperity professional because we work with healing the nervous system, reconnecting to your body, and creating the life that not even you dreamed of. That is better than you could have ever dreamed. So that's where we're starting today. I'm going to say I'm a little nervous. I'm not a nervous system expert. I just know the foundations and basics and the impact it's had on my life and my clients' lives. And I think it's just really helpful to share that information with you. I don't know if all podcast episodes are going to start this way, but it's what feels good for me, again, in such a fast-paced, busy world. Slowing down and beginning the episode by taking a few deep breaths. Now, if you're driving, of course, you want to keep your eyes open. I love to listen to podcasts while I'm driving. It's my favorite. But if you're not driving, maybe you can close your eyes. Maybe you have a light gaze in front of you. Whatever feels good for you. Everything I offer in any of these solo episodes is an invitation. And it's your choice how you move forward because you know your body best. So if you would like finding

Settle In With Three Breaths

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a seat that feels comfortable, maybe you lay down. Again, maybe if you're driving, maybe you just shift your body a little bit to get 1% more comfortable. Maybe you straighten your back and your posture round your shoulders, roll back your shoulders, let them drop, let them release from your ears. Let tension your neck and shoulders and back releases. Whatever that looks like or means for you. Moving in a chair, so you can hear how squeaky my chair is, which I love. Listening to your body and what it means. I'm shaking it out. It's funny you can't see me. And I'm so used to offering video-based trainings. I'm just like shimmying. You know what shimmying is? Just moving my shoulders a little bit, shaking it out. Feels like that's what my body needs. My eyes are closed. What does your body need right now? Maybe this slowing down is not what you need. Maybe your body needs to go for a run or to dance or to jump to get out excess energy. What you're gonna learn today is a lot of working with the nervous system, and your body is meeting it where it's at. It's not forcing anything, it's not pushing anything. So maybe you're like, you know what, after this episode, you turn this episode off, and you go move your body and do what your body needs. Maybe the slowing down right now is not it. If you would like, you can place a hand on your heart. Feeling your clothes on your skin.

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Just noticing how your body feels.

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And if your mind is racing, if it's wandering. That's natural.

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It's totally normal. That's a part of the process.

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And if you would like to join me in taking a deep breath in through the nose, and out through the mouth.

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Another deep breath all the way into the belly, in through the nose. And out through the mouth, maybe you let out a sigh or some sound.

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Allowing your jaw to relax and to soften.

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Another deep breath in through the nose. Out through the mouth.

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Again, maybe making some sound. Maybe sticking your tongue out, being silly with it. And being right here right now. Your eyes have been closed. Maybe you begin to gently flutter them open. Hmm. Yeah, beautiful. So I'm gonna take a sip of what is this? Of my drink. It's not water. In a lot of my trainings, I'm like, drink water with me. Let's hydrate our bodies. Right? Our bodies are like 80% water or something. Um, so water is really important. But I'm not drinking water, so I'm not gonna lie to you. But maybe you need some water right now. Oh, so good. So good, so good. Right? Learning to listen to our bodies' cues. It's um a long, a long lost language as human beings to really be connected to our bodies and the ancient wisdom that lives within. Hmm. I'm so excited to be here with you and yeah, to speak my truth and feel like I don't need to like water it down for social media or simplify it or make it look worthy.

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I just get to speak how I want to speak. It's really, really cool. And I just feel so grateful that you're here. So thank you for listening.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

So, talking about the nervous system, if you don't know, the nervous system is the electrical network within your body, and it's not just the brain. Um, it goes through every cell, every nerve ending, every organ. And if you haven't seen a map of the nervous system, like a diagram or picture of what it looks like, it's a really cool to look it up. Makes me think of in an apartment or in a house, the electrical

Nervous System Basics Made Simple

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wiring that runs throughout the entire house. You can't see it, but it's in the walls, and it allows you to flip a light switch and the lights turn on, or plug in a device, and now that device has an electrical power to it. And so just thinking of this this network, these little branches going throughout your entire being and entire body. So there's three main parts to the nervous system, and I'm not gonna get hopefully not gonna get too geeked out about it, but I definitely want to share them. So those three parts are the central nervous system, the peripheral nervous system, and the autonomic nervous system. Um, and it's so funny, you'll hear me like, I always want to say automic nervous system, but that's not right. It's autonomic nervous system. So these three parts the central nervous system is the brain and your spinal cord. And right when we talk about body-led, your mind, your brain is part of the body. It's not this whole separate thing. The difference, right, when we talk about what is traditionally out there is mind-focused, it is brain-centered, where now we're getting this is body-centered, but your brain is a part of the body, so it's still relevant, still very important. The brain and the spinal cord are the command center, right? Central nervous system. It's the central aspect, it's speaking to everything else. The peripheral nervous system, right? If you think of peripheral vision, the things on the outside of your vision that you can kind of see, but maybe aren't totally clear, these are all the nerves that branch off of the central nervous system that go to your limbs and your fingertips and all the way to your toes and throughout your organs. And then there's the autonomic nervous system. This is the part of your system that's your life support. It's keeping you alive without you even thinking about it. Okay, so those are the three main parts. Again, I'm gonna recap. I love teaching and I love repeating things multiple times because I firmly believe it takes us hearing things multiple times from multiple perspectives for it really to land. So the central nervous system, the peripheral nervous system, and the autonomic nervous system. Now, the autonomic nervous system, this is the part that is the focus, the key aspect of somatic healing. The autonomic nervous system has two branches, and these branches work like a seesaw, which is pretty cool, right? So if you think of kids on a seesaw, one kid is up, one kid is down, one kid is down, one kid is up, right? The seesaw effect. So within the autonobic nervous system, the part of your nervous system that keeps you alive, that is your life support. There's the sympathetic nervous system, which you can think of as like a gas pedal, right? Go, sympathetic. Then there's the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the

Gas Pedal Versus Brake Pedal

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brake pedal, stopping, slowing down. So again, right, we're talking about within the three main branches of the nervous system, the third branch being the autonomic nervous system, what keeps you alive, and within the autonomic nervous system, the two parts, the sympathetic or gas pedal part of the nervous system, the parasympathetic or brake pedal part of the nervous system. Now, why are these important? If you've heard of survival states, fight, flight, freeze, and fawn that's where these aspects of the nervous system come in. The sympathetic or gas pedal is that activation. It's preparing you to go, it's giving you gas, it's giving you energy, right? You're preparing for the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. It's activating you when there's literally stress. It's so amazing when I work with clients and majority of my work has been with women and moms. And I've like um played with oh, I work with moms who have experienced complex trauma, like me, right? I work with women who's who experienced trauma. Now I will do a whole nother episode on trauma because that is a topic in and of itself that I'm so passionate about. And trauma is defined as too much too soon. That's how I define it. Too much too soon. Whether you have big T trauma, little T trauma. But again, in working with women and moms, and I used to be this way before I really dove into my healing journey. I'm not a victim. I didn't experience trauma. I'm good, everything is good, right? This kind of denial. And what I've learned is the activation of our sympathetic nervous system, this gas pedal, it's keeping us alive and everyone experiences it. Experiences it. So it's not only trauma, it's also stress. Maybe you experience chronic stress, right? If you're a woman, if you're a mom, guarantee you experience stress. When you feel danger or excitement, and what this feels like in the body, this increase in energy is the heartbeat is increasing. Your breathing, as that's probably really loud in the microphone. I apologize. Your breathing increases, it picks up. There's muscle tension in the body. Stress hormones are released like cortisol, adrenaline. Again, it's preparing you for survival to either fight in the situation, to run away, to completely freeze, or to fawn to people, please. Now, when we talk about the parasympathetic nervous system, right, again, thinking of a seesaw. So we can say we just talked about the gas pedal, that part of the seesaw is up. If we look at the other end of the seesaw, the part that's down, parasympathetic, the brake pedal.

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This allows for slowing down, for stopping.

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For rest, rest and digest. That's what this part of the nervous system is known for. When safety is experienced.

Rest And Digest As Healing

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So much of the time in today's world, so many of us are living in a state of the go, go, go, high stress, hustle, constantly in that survival mode, in that activation of the gas pedal sympathetic nervous system. Our bodies have forgotten how to feel safe, how to go into the state of rest and digest. And this is digestion, literal digestion of your food and absorbing nutrients into your body. It's the digestion of information, of experiences, processing what we've experienced. Even in everyday life, when I'm recording this, the processing, the digestion of the fact that in the last 48 hours we've gotten two feet of snow in Connecticut on top of the already two feet of snow we got a couple weeks ago. Right? It's like it can be that simple. Digestion of, oh my gosh, we're in a blizzard. Like, wow, wow. Right? It can it can be simple and small, and our bodies have forgotten how to do that. What it feels like in the body, it's literally right, a seesaw, the other end of the examples I gave before. The slowing down of the heart rate, the slowing down of your breathing, releasing of muscle tension. And what does this do? It promotes healing, promotes restoration and rejuvenation in the body, feeling of peace and calm. Allows your body to repair on a cellular level, on a neurological level, on a biological level. I'm just throwing out all these keywords. It allows your body to repair and heal in all these different ways. And this is why I love starting these episodes with the let's take three deep breaths together, let's slow down, let's remind your body of what it can feel like to be safe, to truly rest. And maybe we'll have a podcast episode on rest because nourishing rest is likely not laying down and doom scrolling.

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It's likely not cleaning your kitchen and cleaning your house. It's like true restorative, restorative rest.

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Your body knows how to heal, it knows how to repair. We just have to allow the time and space and containers where we feel like we belong and where we feel held for that to happen. Now we're already approaching 20 minutes, but it's so good that I'm just gonna keep going. I don't know how long these episodes are gonna be, so I guess we're about to find out. What gets really interesting is when your body gets stuck, like I mentioned before, in that state of survival mode, and the sympathetic response of being on the go, being hyper-vigilant, constantly scanning for danger. Maybe you're sitting at your desk doing work, and you're like, oh my gosh, when's the next tree gonna drop? Or you're trying to sleep and your mind is racing and you can't fall asleep. This is what happens when you're dealing with that chronic stress I mentioned, with that chronic

When Survival Mode Becomes Chronic

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anxiety. Again, with trauma, whether it's big T or little T. I finally tried somatic work. I think I was around 25 because I knew my childhood trauma trauma had not been addressed, and talk therapy was not working, and I was like, something's gotta give. I have to try something else. And somatic breath work found me, and it's changed my life. People who are experiencing burnout, overwhelm, sleep disturbances, digestive issues, pain, tension, relational issues, an internal feeling of emotional chaos.

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Maybe questioning what is wrong with me? Why can nobody help me? And if that's you, there's nothing wrong with you. It's that the old ways are no longer working. And you need a new way, a new approach forward. If your nervous system has been in the state of survival mode for too long, it's kinda like a car with an emergency brake on. The car will keep going. But eventually something in the engine is gonna break.

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Right? Think of dis-ease. Disease is our body just in these states of chronic stress, chronic overwhelm for too long, that it impacts an organ, impacts a part of the body. That is like I've had enough. I can't keep going like this. And this is where somatic work comes in. So now we're gonna talk about somatic work or body-led, what I call body-led healing. As I mentioned, somatic means relating to the body, soma is body. So any practice that helps you reconnect with your body directly. Some say it helps you with regulation. I personally don't like using the term regulate because it has become associated with calm. And as I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, you don't always need calm. Sometimes you need to rage it out. One

What Somatic Healing Really Means

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of my favorite practices in my healing journey has been, and I'm gonna try not to square swear in case we have our little ears listening, it's been screaming at the top of my lungs. Having these visceral primal screams, getting out this rage and this anger, and this energy in my heart and body that has just needed to come out. It has been stomping and wailing and throwing a tantrum as an adult and moving grief and heartache. Healing is not always calming, it's not always grounding. And also in the same breath, it's not always that cathartic and that big. Maybe you've seen these videos of somatic breath work, of the screaming, yelling, shaking, these big releases. It's not always like that. Sometimes the most powerful moments are lying perfectly still, breathing, releasing, and your body processing what you don't have the words for. And that's just as beautiful. I want to talk about how this differs from talk therapy. In talk therapy, focus on your thoughts and your memories, and that's beautiful. But how somatic work is different is it recognizes that trauma and stress are stored in the body. There's a book, it's called The Body Keeps the Score. I never finished it. I don't love it, but right, that's the concept, is it's all stored in the body. Um, I have to find out where this originates from, but in the state of Connecticut, there's a sound healer. Shout out to Calvin Young. I'm gonna see if I can get him to come on as a

Stress Lives In The Body

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podcast guest because he is incredible. He has said in his sessions, and again, I don't remember where it originates from. Our issues are in our tissues. And I always was like, as a chronic crier throughout my life, someone, no matter how stressed, overwhelmed, upset, no matter the emotion, I would just always be crying. And I was like, oh, tissues, your tears, right? You cry into tissues or you spit. That's something else in somatic healing that's been powerful for me is coughing up grief from the lungs and spitting it out, getting the mucus and the phlegm out. But I was like, oh, our tissues, right? That I'm sneezing into and blowing my nose into. Like, no, well, not no, but and also and the tissues in our body, our muscles, our ligaments, our fascia. Somatic healing also recognizes that the body has its own wisdom and intelligence and that and knows how to heal. Like I mentioned, when we give it the time and the space and containers that feel safe for us, that feel like where we belong and where we can be held. And it also is founded on the fact that healing happens when we include the body in the process and don't exclude it.

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So I want you to take a minute and think about when you're stressed, where do you feel it in your body?

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There's no right answer.

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Do you feel tight shoulders, erasing heart, shallow breath? Do you feel a lump in your throat, a knot in your stomach?

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My hairdresser the other day, we were talking about service-oriented or service-based professions and working with clients and somatic awareness and noticing how you feel when you're working with clients. And how as a hairdresser, she holds space for her clients all day and listens to them and listens to their stories. And I said, Do you notice where you feel it in your body? And she's like, Oh, yeah, the back of my neck. She's like, Immediately, I can feel it. I can pick up on others, other stress and emotion. And I'm like, that's beautiful that you know. And now you can find ways to support your body, to move that energy that's not yours, to protect your energy, and still hold space for your clients, but not take it on as your own. Because when you notice these sensations, these quote unquote, we can say symptoms, I don't love saying symptoms, but when you notice these bodily sensations, just your nervous system's communicating with you. Again, your body is so intelligent, it can pick up on what others are feeling, it can pick up on the stress.

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Alright.

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So the last part of this episode, I want to talk about how somatic healing works in the nervous system. So when you're stressed, your mind can start racing, it can go to the past, it can go to the future. And somatic practices bring you back into the present moment where your body actually exists right here, right now, grounds you, it centers you.

Safety Then Release Then Compassion

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So again, somatic breath work is what I teach, it's what I offer because I am so in love with it and is what has healed and transformed my life. You can find somatic practices that work for you. There are so many practitioners out there, but it starts with this grounding, it starts with coming into the present in whatever way that feels doable for you. You then bring your body into a place of signaling safety. You help your body recognize it's safe even when your mind is worried, even when you're stressed. It allows that parasympathetic or that break pedal to activate so that you can slow down and begin to rest and digest. Next is the release. So many somatic practices help you release the stored emotion and tension and energy that your nervous system has been holding on to that's no longer serving you. And it's not about fixing anything, it's about learning to listen to your body, relearning the language of your body that you've maybe lost or forgotten, and responding to its needs with compassion, with grace, with empathy, like you would a child. I'm here for you. How can I help you? How can I support you? Reestablishing that relationship. So if you would like to try somatic breath work with me, I'm going to drop a recorded journey in the show notes called Serenity Within. It is my most popular somatic breathwork experience. It is directed towards moms, but anyone is welcome to enjoy it. So again, you can find that link in the show notes. You can also look up breath work practices online. There's all different types of breath work, even though I call mine somatic breathwork. Every practitioner is different, so you can find

Try Somatic Breathwork Resources

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other opportunities and experiences out there. There's body scanning, which I consider a type of guided meditation. There'som somatic movement or somatic awareness, really connecting to your body as you move. There's grounding practices that use your senses. Finding what works for you. And you might have to try something a couple times to really learn if it's for you or if it's not. Because healing your nervous system through somatic work isn't linear. Um so funny the healing journey. We're like on it, and we're like, oh, I've got this. And then you just uncover something else, and you're like, oh dang, I thought I had that thing, but I don't. Here's the next layer of it, right? Like in layers of an onion. And I love the analogy that it's like working with or tending to a garden. Um, some days you might feel calm and centered. Other days old patterns

Nonlinear Healing And Self-Compassion

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will surface. There might be setbacks, there might be breakthroughs, progress most of the time. And often looks like two steps forward and one step back. You're learning along the way. It's a journey in and of itself. The key is self-compassion as a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser who has a really tough inner critic, which I imagine many of us do. Learning self-compassion is a game changer. And finding consistency that works for you. Consistent does not mean every day. Does not mean an hour a week. Maybe it's five minutes here and there every couple days. You have to remember your nervous system has been protecting you for years. For years. I did not start somatic work until I was 25 years old. My body had been protecting me and keeping me safe for 25 years. It takes time to learn new patterns of safety, and for your body to learn to regulate on its own. And you know what? I gotta take some notes because we're gonna do a whole another episode on regulation and what regulation actually is and how it doesn't mean calm, how it means bringing your nervous system back into a state that is tolerable for you within what's called your window of tolerance. That will be your little sneak peek. Yeah. So to wrap up this episode, somatic healing is really a bridge between your mind and your body. It's helping you understand, learn, respond to your body's signals and cues with compassion, honoring its wisdom and its ability for repair. Key things to remember: your body is not the enemy. Your body is not the enemy. It's your ally. Learn to be in right

Your Body Is Your Ally

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relationship with it. Healing is a process, it's not a destination, it's a lifelong journey. If you want it to be, you can also stop healing at any time. Totally up to you. I'm not here to force anything on you, it's your choice, but it's definitely a process. Small, consistent practices create lasting change in ways that are doable for you.

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And lastly, you are not alone in this journey.

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I'm here to support you. My community is here to support you. There are other practitioners out there to support you, and communities out there to support you. Find your people, find your place, find where you belong because you are not alone. And when we are healing relationally and healing our bodies, we need relationships to heal. We are not meant to heal alone. As you explore somatic healing, try to be patient with yourself.

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You're learning to be compassionate. This is the foundation of long lasting healing. Thank you for being here. I'll see you on the next episode.